I Don't Want To Bang On the Drum All Day

Two days until the job officially begins, which means two days of freedom. So how am I spending my last unburdened weekend? Playing video games. I should be out taking long bike rides or going to the movies or something (Alright! Kung Fu Panda, anyone? No, I kid, it looks so terrible.), but, honestly, I can't wait for Monday; I'm simply waiting for time to pass.

It's so cool to get a job you actually want.

Day Number One

I'd love to talk about my first day at Nintendo, but there's really nothing to report. Today was the usual new job business - signing stacks of forms, taking a drug test - no different than any other company. My real first day of work is Monday, but don't expect too much then, either. I'm sure there's a pile of Non-Disclosure Agreements waiting for me. At least I got to pee in a cup today.

Before the cup o' pee (this is the best pee in a cup ever!), I, of course, got to spend lots of time in a waiting room. After thumbing through a few worn-out magazines my gaze drifted toward a TV tuned to the Curious George show. Wow. Second funniest thing I've ever seen.

I didn't start watching until a few minutes into the show, so I missed a few plot points, but it seems some lady had asked to George to work at her candy shop while she went out to do other things. Let me remind you now that George is an ordinary monkey. He may be unusually curious, but he he's still a monkey in a human world. So some guy comes in and asks for mint candy. George doesn't know which candy is mint, so he picks up a piece, bites it in half, and shows the filling to guy. The guy looks at the monkey and tells him that it doesn't look like mint, so George bites another one. Again, it doesn't look like mint. At this point, the customer is yelling at George, and the poor monkey is trying his hardest, but the man finally gives up. "I don't have time for this! I'll come back later, and you better have the mint candy by then."

As soon as this guy leaves, a woman walks in and gives George this complicated order. She wants six pieces of pink candy and four divided into two boxes, or something, so George sticks a bunch of candy in a couple of boxes and hands it to her. Now this woman is yelling. Now an old dude walks in and asks for a single piece of candy, but the crazy woman is still yelling, so George begins rearranging the boxes, but the old dude wants another piece of candy, so George helps him, but the woman is yelling. The old man asks for another piece of candy and George accidentally gives him one of the pieces he had bitten earlier. The man takess at the monkey pox-ridden chocolate and says very seriously, "This is only half a piece of candy. I better only have to pay half price."

More people enter the store. George is overwhelmed, so he starts flinging handfuls of candy on the counter. A man begins to flail his hands like a fourteen year-old girl and screams: "Ooooo, free samples!" Everyone in the store, by the way, is an adult; out of the ten or so people who showed up while I was watching, there was one kid. George continues to throw everything within reach and make Frank Welker sounds.

At about this time, the store's owner returns and sees the bustling crowd. "Wow, George, you've brought in so many customers!" She helps with all the orders, and then takes inventory. "Oh, no, George. You gave away more than you sold. Now I can't afford any more ingredients. I'm out of business." Perhaps leaving a business in the hands of monkeys isn't the best way to go.

It reminded me of how glad I am that I won't be returning to retail work this summer.

And if you were curious, the number one funniest thing:

25m

I'm a Nintendo game tester!!

Pushing Little Children With Their Fully Automatics

I got a call today from Staples.



They don't start hiring for summer positions until the beginning of next month.

While copying the above videos, I happened upon a short called Close Personal Friend, written and co-directed by Douglas Coupland, so it's obviously brilliant. Almost every line spoken was taken straight from Microserfs, but since Microserfs is the best book ever written, that's a good thing. If you like this movie, you should read the book.

I will warn you that it's about twenty-four minutes long.

Will Work For Hourly Wage

I'm applying for jobs!

I went back to Nintendo to see if any new jobs had opened, and ya know what? I was directed to a kiosk with a grimy keyboard and an outdated computer. That's right - Nintendo uses the sort of standard, online application I mocked just days ago. I'm so disillusioned!

At the same, it's Nintendo. It will take a lot more than a stupid application process to turn me against Nintendo. Unfortunately, none of the positions listed appear to be summer jobs, but it's Nintendo. I'll happily apply for anything if it means getting my foot in the door. Let me playtest games, stick me in the warehouse, make me scrub toilets for minimum wage - whatever.

I did, however, just find another site that does appear to list summer-type jobs at Nintendo, so if you'll excuse me, I have to answer a few dozen questions about where I live.


On another note:
That thing I said I was going to write? I'm putting it on indefinite hold. Believe me, it's not anything you want to read. It seems to me that if I've put it off this long, I might as well just wait until I'm feeling inspired enough to write it well. It will appear here eventually, but I'm not going to make a big deal of it. You probably won't even know that you've read it.

My Fingers Were Crossed

Sike, again! You know the drill by now - job, apartment, e-mail - blah, blah, blah. Anyway, whoops, I lost track of time, so I'm putting off the piece I mentioned yesterday for a bit longer.

I don't even have a good video today, so how about a music recommendation? You know what band is good? Like, mondo-good? Bishop Allen. Bishop Allen is great. They put on a fantastic live show, too. Part of one of their songs was played in Saved!, which was a pretty decent movie. Listen to them. Love them. Catch them with your butterfly nets. Take another picture of them with your click click click click camera. Invite them over for a cup of tea. If you feel like dancing, dance with them.

This is the band's official site, complete with free mp3s.

This is not the band's official site. This is the Daytrotter site, but it has a bunch of live recordings of Bishop Allen songs that you should download right away.

Happiness is a Can of Spray Paint

There's something I've wanted to write about for a few days now, but between looking for work, new roommates, and checking my e-mail, blogging has been a low priority lately. I've been pre-writing it in my head (mind-bloggling), but it's a little more thoughtful than most of the drivel I slop into the trough for you, my dear, hoggish readers. I know you filthy swine will gladly gobble anything I toss your way, but this one's for me. I'd like to give it a bit more time.

So here's the deal: I'm gonna slack a bit today, but I'll work ten times harder tomorrow.

As countless teachers have taught me through the years, there's no better way to slack than to show a video. Fortunately, this is an amazing one.

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.