Steal These Albums

I'm a dude who enjoys reading a good critical analysis. I can usually read a few movie reviews and get a good sense of whether or not I'd like the movie and I've learned almost as much about video games from magazines and Web sites as I have from playing them, but you know what's never been of any use to me? Music reviews. Seriously, guys, go read some music reviews. They're terrible, all of 'em. How do you describe music to someone? "The album is a magnificent journey that sounds like a golden delicious apples being gently grazed over an electric razor, but it's an uneven affair, as the second half turns to the feeling of shampoo separating mud from hair after a flag football game on a lazy summer afternoon." The metaphors these people write - meaningless!

With that, here are some music reviews written for dude's like me, by a dude who is me. I'll be reviewing the CDs I got for Christmas.

Of Montreal
Skeletal Lamping

Of Montreal ~ An Eluardian Instance (2008) Dir: Jesse Ewles from jesse ewles on Vimeo.

This album is so fantastic. You should go buy it right now. It has lots of songs that are really good. I think they sound good. I enjoy listening to them. Also, I like the words. The packaging is very pretty and clever.

Sex Pistols
Never Mind the [swear words], Here's the [swear word] Pistols

This is a seriously good record. I like it. If your tastes are similar to mine, you might also like it. That Johnny Rotten is a charming fellow. I listen to it often. I plan to continue listening to it frequently in the future, if there is a future.

Slow Motion Reign
SSlow Motion Reign

I didn't really get this CD for Christmas. I was ordering school books off of Amazon and I looked at this CD because I was curious how much it cost and I knew many of the songs and I thought they were great. It was very cheap. This is good because it means that you won't have to pay very much when you buy this album, and you should by it because it's terrific and the songs on it are nice.