Oh, so anyway, I'm gonna be a zombie now. Eating your brain won't make mine anymore functional, but it will make me feel better about my own condition.
My Zombie Hit List
Barack Obama - Chaaaaange
Super Mario - Draaaaaains
Michael Jordan - Haaaaaanes
The moon - Waaaaanes
Characters from the Rocky series - Jaaaames "Clubber" Laaaaang
Dracula - Faaaaangs
My sister, Jaime - Baaaaaanges
The circulatory system - Veeeeeeins
Mr. Ed and Seabiscuit - Maaaanes
The deer and the antelope - Raaaaaange
Anti-Flag singer/guitarist Justin Saaaaaane
Clouds - Raaaaaain
Super Mario - Draaaaaains
Michael Jordan - Haaaaaanes
The moon - Waaaaanes
Characters from the Rocky series - Jaaaames "Clubber" Laaaaang
Dracula - Faaaaangs
My sister, Jaime - Baaaaaanges
The circulatory system - Veeeeeeins
Mr. Ed and Seabiscuit - Maaaanes
The deer and the antelope - Raaaaaange
Anti-Flag singer/guitarist Justin Saaaaaane
Clouds - Raaaaaain
Daaaaaaang! I shouldn't have put Mario on this list - I promised this week that I wouldn't talk about video gaaaaaaames.
6 comments:
I feel like I've probably taken this far enough, but there are still plenty of zombie puns to be made. While I was writing this post, I spent 5-10 minutes braaaaainstorming, but I even in that short time, I came up with more than enough. With a list this long, it didn't seem necessary to use everythaaaaaang.
Lanes
Pains
Danes
Gains
Trains
Manes
Veins
Shames
Cranes
Tames
Thames
Games
James
Jane
Fame
Vane
Sane
Banges
Fangs
Hang
Dang
Clubber Lang
Slain
Dwayne
Profane
Propane
LaGrange
Refrain
Rain
Range
That's far from every pun, of course. Anyone have any to add?
If you think of one, leave a comment, and don't forget to write your naaaaaaaame. Otherwise you're totally laaaaame.
Two more things:
1. I'm very much aware that Thames does not work in this case. I was going to make a joke about that, but that seemed like some complicated, meta-zombie business, so I went with accessible jokes about moon phases and unexceptional punk singers.
2. Spellchecker has no problem with the word "gonna."
What are banges?
(:
Banges
Above your eyes, your hair hangs
Blow my mind, your royal flyness
I dig your banges
Banges
To drape across your forehead
To swing concordant angles
As you incline your head
The Internet and the dictionary tell me that the preferred spelling is "bangs." I don't know where I got the notion that there's an "e" in there, but I searched Yahoo! and found plenty of references to "banges," so I'm keeping it.
As for the explanation of the joke, my sister and fellow Shiny Buttoner has been blogging about her hair lately.
Dude, your sister spells things for a living. Don't you think maybe SHE was the one asking?
Also, on TV this lady just said "The Bible doesn't believe in cosigning."
I love TV. I love anthropomorphizing holy books.
That's why I tell you people to leave naaaaaaames.
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