Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The End

Somebody pooped in my sandbox.

I never thought of myself as the blogging type. In fact, my constant, repetitious overuse of the word "blog" comes from my discomfort with with the very idea. Or, more accurately came from that discomfort. You see, I've grown to quite like this blogging thing.

JakeyPen began as a way for me to keep in touch with the friends and family I left behind when I set off for DigiPen, and that's all it was ever meant to be. It started adventurously, with tales of leaving my old life behind and photographic tours of my new city, then quickly petered out. I didn't want to be the sort of person who fills the Internet with accounts of all the mundane banalities that make a day, but I found that it's these little things that are perhaps most important to who a person is. Keeping touch is not simply about the big, spectacular events, but the trivial thoughts and even the stretches of boredom.

Looking back at the last two years, it's been... something. Okay, I've hated it. There have been good times, certainly, but overall... yeah, I hate this place. I feel like I'm gaining nothing, losing plenty, and the entire experience has been shallow, empty, and isolated. This dumb little blog, though, has given me some connection to the real world. I've made a few friends, maybe communicated to a few people I already knew in a new way, and, if nothing else, the acts of thinking and writing something - anything - has had a certain soothing effect.

And now, it's over.

When I started this blog, I was given a choice - private or public. Would I require any readers to sign up for an account, be personally approved for readership, and login each time they wanted to learn my opinions of which cereals had the worst box designs? No. I made that choice, knowing that anything I wrote would be available for all the world to find and read. I made that choice, knowing that the one person in the world I didn't want to have any part in my life would one day find it. I knew this venture was doomed from the start, and I did it anyway, so I only have myself to blame if things didn't go the way I would've liked.

Everything happened as I knew it would. I don't know how long ago I was found, but I decided to stick to the commitment I'd made and finish the Blog-Off! Today is the end of the challenge, and so it is the end of JakeyPen.

A cliché sentiment, but a true one: I knew it would end one day, but I didn't expect to be so sad to see it go. I never knew I would grow so fond of blogging. The were plenty of times when I didn't want to write, but, as a whole, it's been fun.

It was fun. Now, it's just uncomfortable. For the majority of my readers, thank you, and I'm sorry to end it like this. I can't keep this up, though. It's too weird. What was a pleasant way to let you know what was happening in my world, or often an excuse for me to ramble all these words out of my mind and hands, has turned sour and awkward, though, and I'm done.

Endings are strange things, though. In real life, they don't happen. After I post this to the Web, I won't go anywhere, and there will still be words and pictures and songs inside me, as well as the need to let them out. JakeyPen is over, but Jake will live on. Even under different circumstances, I think I might be a little burnt out on blogging after two years and two long challenges, and I'm ready for a break. Don't you cry. Maybe I'll be back again someday with a private blog or under an untraceable pseudonym. Maybe the blogging chapter of my life really is done, and it's time for me to find some new angle. I don't know. At the moment, I don't care. Can you picture what will be, so limitless and free? I'll figure out something.

To the loyal fans and the occasional readers alike, thanks for the support. You've been the flaming wreck to my bent metal. It's been much nicer talking to you than it would be talking only to myself. Even here, at the end, the goal is the same as it was at the beginning - keep in touch with family and friends. If you're a new friend and you'd like to keep in touch when I re-emerge wherever and whenever that happens to be, leave a comment and we'll work something out.

Much love,


Anonymous said...

It's like taking away my morning coffee. I will really miss your blog, even though I talk to you almost everyday. Your blog was a special part of you and I hope you find a way to blog again.
Congratulations on winning the "Shiny Button"
I just feel sad.

Jake said...

I am, for obvious reasons, moderating comments now. If you're leaving a comment for the first time, please hold on for a bit while I figure out some way to be sure of your identity.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

:( buh-bye
-sadster jack

Jake said...

Once again, please leave a name or some sort of identifying marker on your comments, Anonymouses.


nicole. said...

i'll admit it. i'm gonna miss your rant on cereal boxes.

Jaime said...

I lurve you, Jakeypen.

Don't leave me all alone in blogoland!

Your sister

Nor said...

oh no! i know i should have checked this sooner!

nicole. said...

hey. hey you. i kinda miss you.

Anonymous said...

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I will be happy to get any assistance at the start.
Thanks in advance and good luck! :)

Anonymous said...

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I will be happy to receive some help at the beginning.
Thanks and good luck everyone! ;)