Saturday, February 9, 2008

Population: Growing!

Video game-to-movie conversions have a pretty terrible reputation. For example:

Resident Evil

The Game
  • Special Agents investigating a series of grisly murders
  • Spooky old mansion
  • Zombies
  • Guns
The Movie
  • Zombies
  • Guns
  • No haunted house
  • Nudity

Tomb Raider
The Game

  • Stars beloved heroine Lara Croft
  • Oh, does it really? I hadn't even noticed. I just play it for the thrill of, um, raiding tombs. Or something.
  • Let's move on
The Movie
  • Contains a shower scene featuring Angelina Jolie naked
  • Let's move on

Mortal Kombat
The Game
  • People beat each other up
  • That's about it
  • Oh, some of the "kombatants" have magic powers
  • Plus, you can like, rip people's spines out and stuff
The Movie
  • People beat each other up
  • That's honestly about the only thing that happens in this movie
  • There's one female character, and she crushes a man's head in her thighs
  • I'm not kidding about the plot. Every time someone speaks, it's to say lines like, "Your soul is mine!"

Super Mario Bros.
The Game
  • It's Super Mario Bros.
  • You already know all about Super Mario Bros.
  • If you haven't played this game, go buy it right now.
  • Go. Now.
The Movie
  • Features characters named Mario and Luigi
  • Has nothing to do with the games, otherwise

Allow me to speed through a few more:

House of the Dead
- Guns
- Zombies

Alone in the Dark
- Guns
- Zombies

- A half-naked vampire-woman kills a bunch of Nazis

Street Fighter
- A bunch of burly guys (and one woman) beat each other up

Dead or Alive
- A bunch of mostly-naked women beat each other up

Double Dragon
- Muscle-bound dudes beat guys up to save a girl
- Features a scene in which the girl force-feeds shrimp to a deformed man

...and that's why this movie stands out so much:

It's Animal Crossing: The Movie!

Of all the games that could be converted to movies, Animal Crossing never would have even entered my mind. Let's break the game down:

  • Pay off debt for a house
  • Plant trees
  • Design clothes
  • Yeah, you wear clothes
  • Catch bugs
  • Fish
  • Stomp on roaches if you don't keep your house clean
  • Catching fish and stomping roaches are the only forms of killing in the whole game
  • Play video games
  • Dig for fossils
  • Pick up trash
  • Pull weeds
  • Decorate your house with objects like oil drums and snowmen-shaped refrigerators
  • Talk to anthropomorphic animals
  • Send mail to the anthropomorphic animals
  • Send oil drums in the mail to anthropomorphic animals
  • Retrieve oil drums that your animal friends have lent to their animal friends
  • Listen to a dog sing and play acoustic guitar on Saturday nights
  • This series is even weirder than I'm making it sound
  • It's also way fun
  • Among the best ever made
What's really strange about this movie is that it's one of the most faithful adaptations I've ever seen. What's stranger, still, is that it's entirely watchable. I think I'd even argue that it's good. That's right - I like a movie about a four-year-old girl who works for a talking raccoon.

I wasn't expecting much out of it. It didn't sound like it would make much of a movie, and anime isn't usually my style, and I certainly didn't think I would be able to sit through a full-length feature on YouTube. I thought I'd watch a minute or two just for the novelty of it, but I got hooked. Give it a chance if you have the time.

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

1 comment:

Jake said...

I should point out that "Mortal Kombat" is one of the best bad movies ever made, and Super Mario Bros. is one of the best movies of any kind. It's in my top 20.

On another note, I'm a little sick of Blogger reformatting all of my posts, but not enough to do anything about it.